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Anuradha Krishnan

Let’s talk about infertility

Updated: Sep 27



Infertility is a personal journey that impacts nearly 1 in 6 people globally. As infertility has been historically shrouded in shame and silence, many are reluctant to discuss fertility challenges. Taboos surrounding reproduction and childbirth pose barriers to support, information, and resources, particularly for South Asians who may already be facing cultural and societal pressures surrounding marriage, motherhood, and familial obligations.


In a culture where the prevailing mentality is that a family is only considered complete once children are in the picture, breaking the silence surrounding infertility and fostering open conversations holds great promise for community building and progress in acceptance. By targeting cultural taboos, outdated beliefs, and the overall lack of awareness surrounding infertility, and fostering open dialogue, we can create a more inclusive and supportive environment where women feel empowered to navigate their fertility journeys with dignity, compassion, and access to the resources they need.


Although recently popular media has grown to include more historically ‘taboo’ topics like surrogacy, artificial insemination, and geriatric pregnancies, infertility has yet to be fully developed. In addition to this, awareness needs to be brought to issues surrounding infertility such as bias in infertility research, malpractice at fertility clinics, and unattainable prices for fertility treatments.


There is a critical need to reevaluate conversations surrounding this topic as numerous factors contribute to the silence surrounding reproduction.


But, how exactly can we increase the conversation on infertility?


While funding more research to look for a cure for infertility is important, it is not the ultimate priority — we need to build community first. Increasing the conversation around reproduction creates a supportive environment. Sharing our stories is vital to letting others know they are not alone in their journeys.


For Shrina Patel, a teacher from New Jersey, infertility was a private struggle she kept even from close family. After conceiving through IVF, she shared her journey publicly, hosting a plush toy giveaway to inspire hope and open conversations about infertility within the South Asian community. The responses came flooding in, and her story kick-started a series of giveaways from the brand Modi Toys.


The co-founder of Modi Toys, Avani Modi Sarkar, set rules for these giveaways, asking people to “have an open conversation about IVF with your loved ones… Let’s dismantle the shame and confusion that surrounds it by talking about it more openly. Or at the very least, share this post to inspire hope in others.”


The inability to reproduce can lead to feelings of shame, guilt, and low self-esteem, which can contribute to depression and distress, and society has done little to change that narrative. In particular, women of color are disproportionately affected and more likely to be blamed for their infertility or have their emotional pain and valid medical concerns dismissed or ignored by a physician.


Although infertility is now recognized as a shared concern between partners, much progress is still needed in this area. It is imperative that we remove shame and embarrassment from the narrative of infertility.


Additionally, infertility conversations are not just about the inability to conceive. They should also include topics like abortion or feticide as well as secondary infertility (infertility after giving birth), and touch on the fact that infertility does not have a one-size-fits-all treatment plan as it is a complex issue with various causes and affects everyone differently.

Breaking the stigma around these topics is only the first step.


Next, we must bring more awareness to the different options available for those struggling with infertility. Advancements in modern medicine, such as in vitro fertilization and surrogacy, along with adoption, can help those affected by infertility start a family. However, lowering the costs and barriers to these options remains a significant challenge, and they may not work for everyone.


It's important to note that infertility is a complex issue with various causes, including medical conditions, lifestyle factors, genetics, and environmental factors. Additionally, advancements in reproductive medicine and assisted reproductive technologies have provided options for many couples facing infertility to achieve pregnancy. However, many are extremely hard to access and may not be safe choices for everyone.


Addressing infertility involves a multifaceted approach encompassing medical, social, and cultural dimensions. Infertility in South Asian women is a complex issue influenced by a variety of factors including cultural, social, economic, and biological aspects.

Infertility is far more common than many realize, and it is time to shine a light on this often-overlooked aspect of reproductive health and advocate for greater understanding, empathy, and inclusivity within our communities.


Education and awareness are key to creating an environment where individuals feel comfortable seeking care, understanding their options, and receiving the emotional support they need. Advocating for better access to fertility treatments, adoption, and support services can make a significant difference in the lives of those struggling to conceive. As a society, it's time to embrace open dialogue, empathy, and action, ensuring that no one faces infertility in silence or isolation.

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